d-,-b

Things and events in life don’t usually land according to what you wish for.
It sometimes less than what you dream of or completely outright opposite of it. So what do I do if things don’t happen my way?
I still continue all the plans I have for what I wish for, expecting almost nothing in return. I don’t want to hold back myself for not doing everything possible and exhaust all my might to achieve what I wish. I want to satisfy myself that I did and give everything I could to reach it. I don’t want to look back on this when I get older and regret that I could have done this and that for what I wish for.
Yeah, I know its not easy to just accept the fact that things don’t go your way. It hurts so bad that I even think that I’m a pathetic and worthless person. Sometimes the pain will be untolerable and could make you breakdown and cry. This is the time that reality makes you realize, in your face, that you can’t  have everything. But what the heck, this what makes you a better person! Life expects you to learn from this experience and you should be able learn to compensate on what you have rather than contemplate on what you could/don’t have. Life is like that, you just have to deal with it.

I’ll end this with two quotes from Harry Potter books…

“What’s comin’ will come and we’ll meet it when it does”
-Hagrid

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”
-Dumbledore

Lunchbreak

“Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.”

I stumble on this quote while I was looking for something to read while i’m having my ‘lunch break’ on my second day of night shift mode. I know its an old quote… Wala lang, naalala ko lang yung movie. Still amaze me everytime i watch it and even think if I could pull off things like the guy did in the movie for his girl.. someday i hope. heck, i even checked the site of PAG-ASA if they have something like ‘name/buy a star’ thing that can be done locally.. ;-p Talk about the side effects of working at night/dawn, alone. Gives me alot of time to think, and sometimes end up hurting myself for thinking too much..

<place favorite scene/lines from the movie here>

 …
____*
“My heart may grew tired, but it won’t give up.
No matter how bruised or wounded may I be, I’m still gonna be there for you.
I hope by now you know that..”

Komikantolados

tambay1: ano ng gagawin mo ngaun?
tambay2: wala.. may dapat ba akong gawin?
tambay1: ewan ko sayo, di ka ba nahihirapan sa ganyang sitwasyon?
tambay2: lolokohin lang kita pag sinabi kong di ako nahihirapan..
tambay1: o ayun naman pala e.. so hahayaan mo nalang na ganyan hanggang sa mawala?
tambay2: di ko alam, di sa gusto kong mawala pero mahirap pag naiisip ko na yung mga bagay na gusto kong mangyayari e parang wala ding pupuntahan..
tambay2: mas mahirap ngaun kase mas nararamdaman ko na parang ang layo na, yung tipong bibili ka ng tsitserya sa isang tindahang pasara na..
tambay1: ano?! di ko na-gets.. ulit!
tambay2: haay.. basta un! para kasing nagbago na e..di na tulad ng dati..
tambay1: siempre un ang makikita mo.. pero naisip mo ba na malamang e may dahilan kung bakit nasa ganyan kang sitwasyon ngaun?
tambay2: oo naman.. kaya nga tinatanggap ko nalang kung anong meron ngaun e.  mahirap, pero kelangan matutunan ko.. kase alam kong may rason kung baket ganto ngaun.. wala akong magagawa..
tambay1: kase wala ka namang K na umangal at magreklamo noh.. tanggapin mo nalang..
tambay2: ganon nga.. nalulungkot lang ako, di ako nagrereklamo.. parang pinagpipilitan ko na ata sarili ko, sa tingin mo?
tambay1: di naman, mahal mo e.. ganon talaga..
tambay2: sana lang di ako nagiging pabigat..
tambay1: sana nga..

myfavorite()

I went to watch Sugarfree’s Halo-halo party almost 3 weeks ago.
You wonder why what’s the celebration? Well first, it’s Sugarfree’s anniv. Second, the gig will also serve as a farewell party for Mitch (drummer), sad but true and a welcome party for Kaka, their new tall drummer (according to Ebe and Jal).

‘Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na…’

‘tinatawag kita …sinusuyo kita … di mo man marinig … di mo man madama’

First Track >> The show started, as usual by a front act by a band called ‘Hilera’, they sound like a combined SimplePlan and Blink182 strategy in my opinion. Pretty good though, or shall I say “praktisado”. Hehehe… The next performance was by the lister’s band (lister=band’s yahoogroup member)….

‘natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya… lumabas ako ng kwarto’t naroon siya…’

‘magkailaw man madilim pa rin.. magka-ilaw man madilim pa rin… kung wala ka…’

Fast forward >> Sandwich
They performed ‘Sugod’ with Gabby Eigenmann, parang SOP experience, ‘Photocopy’ (if i remember it right) and ‘Kalendaryo’ with Ebe doing most of the chorus and an impromptu adlib verse, got a copy of it in my cam! Also, <S>andwich perform with Mitch doing the drums, since MikeDbeat is not around… it’s so great to watch Sandwich live since Raimund is very unpredictable when dishing out his best…

‘is it okay if run after you? push myself, just to be with you…’

‘nawawala kapag di hinawakan..dudulas kapag hindi iningatan…’

Next Track >> Sugarfree’s turn to perform! Yahoo!
Ebe is wearin’ his black polo, Jal wearin his usual ’skyflakes’ yellow shirt and Mitch wearin ‘Sugarfree’ shirt. <I’m gonna buy a shirt like that next week! yey!>
They ought to play one last time, the orig members, requested by family and friends (including listers). As they set up, Ebe is teasing Mitch that he don’t belong in the group anymore, he won’t get any talent fee that night and Mitch will pay for what he ordered at the bar..etc.. hehehe…

‘parang atin ang gabi.. para bang wala tayong katabi.. at tayo’y sumayaw..  na parang di na tayo bibitaw…’

‘buti nalang nanjan ka… sinta… pano nalang ako kung wala ka.. sinta…’

‘dati kasi, tahimik ka lang palagi…ngunit ngayong gabi…parang kay ramirami mo ng sinabi..’

Oh sorry, I forgot to say that I’m really a big fan of the band.. so i can go on and on with their songs… ;p

To wrap up this entry…here’s the lines that strikes me most…

‘gumising sa katotohanang di ka naman talaga sakin…’

‘At kahit na ilang ulit mo pa akong saktan…Basta’t sa susunod di mo na ako iiwan..’

‘tulog na mahal ko…nandito lang akong bahala sa iyo…sige na, tulog na muna…’

<would have been better watching the gig with you>

one line will do…

i’m trying to be okay…

n’d

harsh pictures sinkin’ in
please don’t flash everythin’…
leave me at least breathin’
co’z now i feel i’m dyin’…

grant of solitude

If one day you meet a fairy and gave you this proposition…

“I were to tell you that I can give you a chance to meet someone who will become a fiber of your life and artery of your heart, will you accept and meet this someone?

Given this someone will let you into this someone’s life…
Given this someone will spend time to be with you…
Given this someone will make you feel pain…
Given this someone will love you…

In return you will let this person enter your life…
In return you will move mountains to make time…
In return you will feel the hurt still you won’t complain…
In return you will love this person with all your might…”

The fairy slowly swirls around you and giving you time to think…
You’ve reached a decision and slowly, uttering a resounding “yes”…

The fairy smiles widely…her eyes sparkles…

Before fading out from the world, she reach for your hand and placed an old piece of marked cloth…

And she vanished from thin air, leaving you alone with the cloth which says…

“Keep in mind that this someone can never be yours..
 You’re only given a chance to meet, share, spend time and love this someone…”

Can you hold on to your word and embrace the fleeting sensation of reality?

say something to unearth me…

crossed too many waves, i think im spinning…
bumped too many rocks, i feel im bleeding…
endured all this coz ive enjoyed every splash and thud of it…
i carry no regrets if i can’t swim back to the shore…
want you to survive and continue life even without me…
i will just float with the waves and dolphins…
and hope that somebody will pass by to save me in time…

if you had a feeling that i survived, will you look for me?

attack of the killer patatas

It was you who first believed
In all that I was made to be
It was you looking in my eyes
You held my hand
And you showed me life
And I’ve never been the same
Since you first believed
 
How many times did I pray
You’d find me
How many wishes on a star

–Nandyan ka pa?

Fine time 

I hope we could spend more time together
A few hours is better than never
If we could only make it longer

A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine
A whole day would be fine

I think it's time to clean your car
I'm not home if someone calls
We could go out for a day
We could sing some songs we hate

Why not swim in someone's pool
Jump a crane 12 storeys high
Have a picnic in my room
Sit outside and watch the moo

We could drive in to the malls
Or stay home and watch TV
I don't care if we don't have lunch
Just as long as we have iced tea
I could take you to a film
Hunt for books and magazines
Is that new song out on sale
I think that dress is kinda pale

There are times when we disagree
My heart sings to the sea
I'm always anxious when we kiss on me
Please don't tire of understanding me

Being with you makes me feel so safe
I don't care if we go out of town
I don't care if we sleep all day
Basta't kayakap ka ay okey

A song that makes me think of you…ü